Greetings,
So I thought I would send this hilarious but not so funny story. In a rush this morning, frustrated, at the fact that my 2 and 1/2 year old has suddenly forgot how to use the potty this past weekend when the weeks before she was doing remarkably well. Several pisses on the rug, couch, and bathroom floor later caused me to give my beautiful faced daughter a long awaited lecture on the “art of saving her mommy money.” You see, if she is deemed potty trained at her new day care they will allow me to keep the potty training weekly rate which is $20.00 a week cheaper. Now with her selective amnesia she may cost me nearly $80.00 extra a month all because mommy wants her baby to be loved unconditionally throughout her day and so she has moved her to a new school for the fourth time in nearly 3 years.
This morning the hubby wakes me up from a rather peaceful slumber, with only 30 more min on the clock before I had to wake up. He’s in a frenzy telling me Mia peed in the bed again and that he had to go to work. I run to assess the situation only to find a naked little girl running around the house with her behind out and a random black belt wrapped around her waist. Quickened with a quest to have just a little more shut eye I go on a hunting frenzy trying to locate where she peed, on what she peed, and how quickly I can have her cleaned up and back in bed. I ram her in the bath tub, wash her in two seconds flat, dry her off, and go on a quest to find the crime scene. Alas the mattress, I grab all the covers, the wet underwear on the floor, the pee pad and throw them in the wash. I quickly turn over the mattress, lay down another pee mat, throw a clean sheet on sideways, lay down my little princess clean and naked, and cover her with a warm blanket. I run back to my bed to get just a few more min of shut eye only to find my son, awakened by all the commotion, lying in my bed smiling at me. I said “Oh no you don’t, get back in your bed it’s not time to wake up!” He quickly runs away and is surprisingly obedient to my wishes. Proud of my quick accomplishments I snuggle back into bed, lay my head down on my pillow, and seconds later….. the damn alarm goes off it’s time to wake up.
Now we are off, getting dressed, getting bags ready, and suddenly husband calls, “how are you all doing this morning on your ride to work.” I look at the clock and realize I’m not out of the house yet and it’s 18 min after the hour AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I throw mia in the car, tony in the car, the bags in the car and I’m off. I don’t even think they ate anything, yikes! I take him to school first just shy of the late bell, take Mia to her new school, drop off the check, drop off a change of clothes, and rush to my 8:30am meeting through which I was three min late. Ironically, the meeting was sitting in a performance write up on an employee who has frequent tardiness and absences. Needless to say the manager was not smiling when I walked in her office.
So I’m going about my day and literally am starting to smell this funky smell in my office. I keep smelling my hands thinking maybe I had pee on them from this morning’s adventure but I had washed my hands several times throughout the day. I just put the smell in the back of my mind and at around 3:20pm, still smelling the funk, got agitated and could not wait any longer. I’m looking under my desk, over my desk, in the garbage. Smelling my already eaten lunch, my drawers, and finally my brief case. Can you guess what I found in a bag at the bottom of my brief case! It was an already crapped in underwear and pants that the daycare bagged up and gave to me to take home on …. Wait for it…..Thursday of last week!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH. Luckily it was in a bag and not all over my work papers and luckily I was able to gracefully without notice get up from my desk and throw that shit out…literally.
A day in the life of a working mom.
